Van Halen Horror Movie


Last night we went to bed early, around 10pm. We have our clock radio set to KUOW, and fell asleep with it set to snooze at a modest volume, listening to the chattering voices of NPR reporters. This is our routine.

At 12:00am exactly the radio turned itself on blasting Van Halen’s Dance the Night Away. I was awoken from a deep sleep by David Lee Roth proclaiming “it’s love in the third degree.”

Being awoken suddenly is never a good feeling, but this time I awoke with that deep sense of dread, like you might if you heard a crash from the kitchen or glass breaking in the living room. All my addled mind could process is the thought “There is something very wrong here.”

First wrong thing: our radio has never turned itself on before on its own accord. What force did this? Alien? Robot? Power surge?

Second wrong thing: in what universe does NPR play classic rock songs for more than 3 seconds?

I rolled over in bed, hit the off button and then pondering these questions in the mindset of somebody who dozed off mid-horror movie, I hit the snooze button and a more quiet version of the song emitted from the speakers.

I checked the radio station — 94.9, that’s correct. I checked the time and date — all set right. And then the song faded out and the end bars of As It Happens came on — oh yes. The Canadians. They would play classic rock at the end of their show. After all, Van Halen just announced a tour with David Lee Roth, so they were probably celebrating that news.

But we still don’t know why the radio turned itself on. It could be that the ghost of VH was reaching into our bedroom to control us.

“That was weird,” said Christine, whom I thought had slept through the ordeal. “Do you like Van Halen?” she asked.

“Not at all,” I said. In that moment, the feeling was very true. We went back to sleep and the rest of the evening was uneventful.



Posted by: Martin McClellan
On the date of: August 10, 2007 10:02 AM
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