Ask US for Advice


This week’s Ask An Uptight Seattleite features a letter by me. Although, they edited the funny out. Fair enough — it’s his show, and that’s the way I like it. The editing may have even improved it, although I liked my original signature better.

Here’s my letter:

Dear US,

As a human of the male persuasion, I have come to notice other men and the mammalian way they sit on the bus. I’m a standard issue big guy sent straight up from central casting, so I’m very aware of my “footprint” as I sit on a crowded bus. I try to keep my limbs in tight. Often, though, I’m seated next to a dude who is compelled to spread his legs in a wide V shape, taking up more than his fair share of the alloted community area.

What is the best way to let these gentlemen know that they are encroaching on my personal space without them feeling as if I am encroaching on their personal space? I fear that tapping my foot and rubbing my leg against theirs might send the wrong message.

Please sign me:

Get Your Sit Together Man

The Seattle Weekly has always tried to appeal to the crowd that Ask An Uptight Seattleite so brilliantly parodies, which is one reason I love the column so much. It has multiple levels of satire built on an extremely keen reading of classic Northwest types. Like all good parody, it sends up the people we hate while at the same time hitting occasionally too close to home. And it’s satisfyingly cruel to its targets. Merciless, even. Especially when its hitting close to home.

It’s not only better than any column the Weekly has ever published, I would say it’s the best column in the city. The level of detail — from the name of his dog (starts with a K) to the passive-aggressive arrogance — are the mark of a very astute social observer. Which is why my pet theory is that Uptight Seattleite is actually written by a woman. Whoever writes it, they now get me to read regularly a paper I have actively disliked for the twenty years I’ve lived in Seattle.


Posted by: Martin McClellan
On the date of: November 14, 2007 12:18 PM
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