September 19, 2004

The Secret Lives of Dentists

IMDB My inner trumpet player is played by Jimmy Durante.
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 75 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 09:01 PM | Comments (0)

September 18, 2004

Showgirls

IMDB The Hipster's lament: If I give it an serious low score as a bad movie, than people won't think I "get" how funny it is. If I give it an ironic high score, then people might think I actually "liked" the film. Oh, Irony! Wicked muse.
Where we saw it: DVD (Seen It Before) | We deign to rate it: unrateable due to moral dilema outta 100
Posted by Martin at 08:08 PM | Comments (2)

September 15, 2004

Serendipity

IMDB I wrote my name and phone number on a website. If you find it, you might be my soul mate....
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 45 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 09:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 13, 2004

The Outsiders

IMDB This movie is a little Homer erotic. Mmmmmmm. Rumbles.
Where we saw it: DVD (Seen It Before) | We deign to rate it: 73 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 09:36 PM | Comments (0)

September 12, 2004

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg

IMDB I'm still seeing that wallpaper when I close my eyes. I think it's forever imprinted on me.
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 80 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 07:10 PM | Comments (0)

The Vagina Monologues

IMDB I had no ideas that bodily organs could be so boring, pretentious, self-satisfied and poorly coiffed. Now I'm educated on the fact!
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 30 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 07:09 PM | Comments (0)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

IMDB R.I.P. Mel Blanc--that's how Daffy was supposed to sound.
Where we saw it: DVD (Seen It Before) | We deign to rate it: 75 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 03:25 PM | Comments (0)

The Straight Story

IMDB Come see the softer side of Lynch.
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 90 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 03:24 PM | Comments (0)

September 11, 2004

My First Mister

IMDB I think that the next logical step in piercing, since (as well-pierced people will tell you) it's a personal thing, is internal organ piercing. Maybe I'll talk to a surgeon about a spleen ring. Now THAT'S modern primitive.
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 83 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 03:25 PM | Comments (0)

Shangai Knights

IMDB Godard said "Cinema is truth at 24 frames a second." To prove just how stupid that quote is, try inserting the title of this film into that statement instead of the word cinema.
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 45 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 03:24 PM | Comments (0)

September 07, 2004

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

IMDB This movie is so wrong with its stereotypes. I mean, country club WASPs that can't handle their liquor? C'mon!
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 65 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 09:36 PM | Comments (0)

The Singing Detective

IMDB Very obscure quip based on the quip below for the Bourne Identity: Do you think that Dennis Potter was listening to the Clash's Sandinista when he was writing this movie?
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 75 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 03:43 PM | Comments (0)

September 06, 2004

The Bourne Identity

IMDB Do you think that Robert Ludlum was listening to the Boss when he got the idea for this movie? You know, tramps like us....
Where we saw it: DVD (Seen It Before) | We deign to rate it: 80 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 03:33 PM | Comments (0)

September 05, 2004

The Bourne Supremacy

IMDB We've finally reached the point where a movie will spend millions of dollars to achieve the cinematic look of shaky cameras with bad focus that originated with filmmakers who didn't have the millions of dollars to spend on cameras that don't shake and focus correctly.
Where we saw it: Movie Theater | We deign to rate it: 75 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 08:37 PM | Comments (0)

September 01, 2004

50 First Dates

IMDB I have this amnesia problem in my life, but only in relation to chores.
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 55 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 11:57 PM | Comments (0)

Girl With a Pearl Earring

IMDB Dutch painting just isn't funny. I can't make a quip--a prize to the best quip left in the comments.
Where we saw it: DVD | We deign to rate it: 74 outta 100
Posted by Martin at 10:42 PM | Comments (2)