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Hey folks, welcome to Spitball!, the world's first screenplay written by blog.You may want to read the posts in our about section, particularly our Statement of Purpose

Or, you can start on the first post and work your way through sequentially by using the 'suceeding' links above the post name.

Who?

There are two of us here: Kent M. Beeson (aka Urban Shockah) bio, and Martin McClellan (aka Burley Grymz) bio.

Speedy Synopsis

After fighting through 50 different story ideas, the boys have picked Time to Die as the script to write. They are now starting the writing process.

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Pitch by Example

June 22, 2007 · by The Urban Shockah · Permalink · comment on this post in the forum · Category: Original Version, communiqués, technique, writing

Here's the pitch I was talking about in my last post. The pitch is by Andrew Hunt, and he was given the logline, "A priest meets the woman of his dreams before he is to be ordained." I'm curious to see what you think, Burley. (I'm assuming that you haven't seen the show.) Does it work only as text? Or does it need the excellent delivery to really make it sing? (As judge Carrie Fisher remarked aftewards, "You inspire confidence by being so confident.")

Here it is, pretty much verbatim:

Charlie Potts has been raised through the Catholic Church in Boston, Massachusetts. This guy is gonna be the next big bishop -- hell, this guy might be the first American Pope. We're gonna send him down to South America, have him work at a missionary before we ordain him. But there's this one girl, her name is Alex and she's a pilot. She flies in and brings in cargo and supplies for this missionary. And what happens is Charlie and Alex start to develop this relationship. She's wild, she's crazy, she's everything that he's not. She's teaching him things like how to dance for the first time, how to take shots of tequilia. And finally it's getting to the point where he's falling in love with this woman. All of a sudden it starts raining. Raining for one day, two days, three days, four days -- boom! A levee breaks. A flood comes in and just rips through this village, Alex and Charlie are trying to grab all the different people and get them to higher ground. And as they're doing it, they get separated. Next day, stops raining, everything is calm. On the roof, he sees Alex, she's passed out, or she's dead. He's looking up, saying, "I have never asked you for anything, but I'm asking you for one thing right now." And finally she coughs up water, she's alive. We're now in Boston, Massachusetts. A huge church. And we see Charlie standing there, about ready to get ordained. But then we pull back to see that it's actually a wedding. We're out.

Total time (assuming nothing was edited out in the broadcast; it looked "whole" to me): 1 minute, 13 seconds. Word count: 263.

I'll provide some commentary on this pitch later. Right now, I'm more interested in what you (and the readers) have to say.

Anyway, I gots to get working on me own pitch...