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Hey folks, welcome to Spitball!, the world's first screenplay written by blog.You may want to read the posts in our about section, particularly our Statement of Purpose

Or, you can start on the first post and work your way through sequentially by using the 'suceeding' links above the post name.

Who?

There are two of us here: Kent M. Beeson (aka Urban Shockah) bio, and Martin McClellan (aka Burley Grymz) bio.

Speedy Synopsis

After fighting through 50 different story ideas, the boys have picked Time to Die as the script to write. They are now starting the writing process.

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Air Vent Chastity

April 26, 2006 · by The Urban Shockah · Permalink · comment on this post in the forum · Category: Original Version, screenwriters, technique

Over at his great blog, Go and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory screenwriter John August has proposed a Screenwriter's Vow of Air Vent Chastity:

I, John August, hereby swear that I shall never place a character inside an air duct, ventilation shaft, or any other euphemism for a building system designed to move air around.

Last time I checked, several people have "signed" the vow (or whatever it would be on the internets), and I think there have been suggestions for other types of anti-cliché vows.

Not to be a stick in the mud (especially with something as tongue-in-cheek as this), but I won't be signing. I understand the frustration with the overuse of the air vent escape; I understand the ridiculousness of it. But in the comments section, someone brought up the counter-example of the toys in Toy Story 2, or the possibility of squirrel characters running around in the vents, and noted that for these characters, using the vents would be a natural (non-contrived) method of getting about. But for August, a cliché, even if it makes sense in context, is still a cliché.

And that's where I part ways. I mean, why is the air vent thing an issue to begin with? Is it simply because it's overused? Or is it because it's overused and very unrealistic? If the answer is the latter, then the squirrel example should suffice as a good use of the air vent, and the vow shouldn't be necessary. If it's the former... well, what isn't overused in mainstream screenwriting? As nice as it might seem to have action movies without explosions, romantic comedies without "meet cutes", Westerns without shootouts... y'know, these things aren't going anywhere, and have their place as well. And while the air vent is too often the escape hatch of the hacky screenwriter, if it's used in an interesting fashion, I'm not going to complain. After all, a cliché is really only a cliché when no thought or imagination go into the presentation, and I'm not going to take a vow that preemptively hamstrings my ability to use either of those things.

(Yeah, it's a slow night over here at the Spitball! -- y'wanna fight about it?)

(New character bios soon.)