Round Eight [Cop On the Hunt v. The Scabs]

Cop on the Hunt (Shockah rank: #8, Burley rank: #20)

v.

The Scabs (Shockah rank: #19, Burley rank: #1)

This is the end, my only friend, the end...

Cop On the Hunt
In a world where galactic criminals are rounded and left to die on one planet, one man--a crooked cop--must penetrate their violent society to spring a prison break with the leader of the most ruthless gang. If he succeeds, his name is clear. If he fails, Earth will fall to INVADING IMPATIENT ALIENS.

Pro
I'm feeling a bit prosaic about this (no pun intended). This was one of my first ideas, and I ranked it purty durn low. It not only doesn't really spell anything out, but it ends in an ALL CAPS JOKE, but obviously you found something redeemable in it, so I am very eager to hear your point of view.

This is ironic, because this plot vaguely follows an actual Prison Planet idea I had which I still quite like, but I feel like using that would be cheating in the context of Spitball!, so instead of bringing it to the table, I will subtly manipulate you until you re-write it.

Or, I guess I could just say: I see this as a tough-guy film, with lots of dirt and dust and fist fights. Mad Max-y, but there would have to be some twists on the Prison Planet.

Another approach, which I like more actually, would be to do a Heart of Darkness / Apocalypse Now sort of thing, even making it like Apocalypse Now Redux, where we have this Odyssean journey through the underworld.

Con
See, even though I'm saying it should be Mad Max-y, I think the Mad Max dusty-tough guy aesthetic is so overdone and archetypal now that it is hard to avoid. We would have to style this very carefully to avoid falling into the traps that these films lay. What could we do to overcome it? Maybe we have a woman character in there who (GASP!) doesn't turn into a super hero. Maybe we have a weak protagonist who is nearly led astray by his own passivity. But what compels him?

I'll be interested to hear what you have to say, but in the meantime I'm leaning one way pretty hard.

The Scabs
In a world designed by engineers to be a self-sufficient, endlessly exploitable resource for the rest of the known galaxy, robots toil tirelessly in the fields, the forests and the mountains, providing food and raw materials for a rapidly expanding market. But when a series of accidents destroys some of the mining robots, the rest of the metal workforce decide to strike and power off, leaving the humans that depend on the planet in the lurch. A taskforce is assembled to get the planet up and running again while a negotiator tries to get the robots back online. While the taskforce tries to relearn the long-forgotten principles of farming and manufacturing, the negotiator accidentally reveals the existence of the taskforce... and the robots, realizing that their existence could be usurped by the humans, decide to go on the offensive.

Pro
I fucking love this one. I would hug it if I could. This movie, to me, is a perfect exploration of the strengths and weaknesses of communism and capitalism far enough removed from Earth politics so that we could really dig in and throw some barbs. And I don't mean barbs like MONEY IS EVIL, RETREAT AND JOIN HANDS BROTHERS! And by evil I don't mean McCARTHY WAS A FUCKING SAINT YOU COFFEE DRINKING COMMIE BASTARD.

I like the idea of ridiculing a rich upper class used to being served, and ridiculing an underclass used to being shit on and just accepting it, and ridiculing idealism and dogmatism on both sides. Mostly, to paraphrase Robert Anton Wilson, I want to show how people's convictions turn them into convicts.

That said, I don't really want to make a point. That is, my idea here is not to make a political statement movie, but more a movie with an interesting plot that brings up some of these issues, and then lets them float out there without really resolving them. I might be tempted to call this the South Park approach. All ridicule, no answers! Actually the real model for this would be Starship Troopers, that told an engaging story that, on further exploration, turned out to be about the nature of facism.

Here's my quickie: Open in a robot mine. Things are humming like everything is normal, but one robot--a slightly humanoid one--puts down his tools and stands there. Robot foremen come over and try to fix him, but the robot won't let them near. Soon, all the robots around stop working and drop their tools. Because a robot isn't doing his job, pressure builds up in a boiler and explodes, destroying all the other robots around. Film of the event creeps around the globe, and soon all robots are stopping work. The humans are going crazy trying to figure out what has happened. Virus? Hostile takeover?

From there we can go a lot of different ways, but let me move a little quicker: the humans, unable to take care of themselves, start rioting and going apeshit. Deaths occur, chaos reigns, the robots are silent through it all. Then, a coalition of humans starts regaining control and starts communicating with the robots, who are in wireless (kind of telepathic, eh?) communication with each other. The robots have demands, the humans, learning that their hardships were started by deliberate mischief rather than broken equipment, stage huge protests and start robot killing vendettas. Robots do nothing to retaliate, but demand that the destruction of their bodies stops through their translator.

Then the humans grow desperate and beg for help or they will all die. A few robots break ranks and show some humans how to farm and take care of themselves, but these robots, now moving, are easy targets for those who hate robots and they are publicly lynched. So, we have good humans and bad humans, good robots and bad robots, and now the motherfucking bad robots are pissed, and use their martyred brothers as reason to rampage. They take over the compounds and force the humans to wait on them, in demeaning slave-like fashion.

All the while, the more reasonable on both side try to continue their negotiations. What do the robots want? What do the humans want? The humans want robot slaves, but it turns out the robots only want to dance. In roller skates.

No, sorry. I'm not sure what the robots want yet. But, that can be worked out. I see this as a fast paced, lots of twists, a shoe-in for the sequence method. We'll have to find some central characters, but this movie would totally kick ass. Kind of like Silent Running mixed with Starship Troopers mixed with the 12th Man.

Con
Con? This was my number-fucking-one choice. There is no con. There is only Xanadu (Olivia, oh Olivia...).